Random thoughts

First, the most important things you need to know. I am coming home June 9th. Part of my plans for the summer are to visit people, specifically in NYC, DC, and maybe the west coast. I am currently finished with teaching, I finished last Thursday, April 30th. I am very happy to be done but also a little sad. I'll get into that later. For now, random thoughts!

- I suck at posting. I really do. I want to do this more, but I just sit at the computer so much doing other shit, work, talking to people, watching baseball, that I don't want to sit there longer to type. Also I've been fairly busy. However, now with a month of basically nothing to do, I'll start doing this more, je crois.

- French people suck at walking. Obviously, this is a gross generalization, but in general I find this to be true. There is just a certain lack of awareness of their surroundings that I find maddening. You just shouldn't do things like stop in the middle of a busy doorway, look around, take our your cellphone, consult it, look around again, wonder why all these angry people are pushing by you, sit down, take a nap, etc. etc. One particularly exciting tactic is to get in front of the doors for a metro that people have been waiting a long time for, and either just stopping in front of the door and not going in, blocking those behind you, or my personal favorite, going into the wide open car and standing just inside, again blocking the doors. Weaving around is another good one, most people tend to walk reasonably straight, and not weave around like a drunken hobo. Here, not so much.

- It's amazing how much nicer Paris is when it's sunny. I know, I know, it's the same everywhere, but I think the fact that it rained for a solid 3 years straight after I got here (rough approximation) really conditioned me to think that the sun in fact no longer existed. There are so many nice places to go out and relax and have a picnic, it's just lovely. Makes me never want to leave. Of course, once it goes away I'll be sad again. A rainy Paris really is a veritable cornucopia of bland colors.

- I know the meaning of words without knowing the meaning of words. This has nothing to do with Paris, but every time someone asks me to define a word, I have no idea how to do it. I just know the correct way to use it. It's the same way I work with computers, I can't explain things, I can just do them. I feel like there must be some sort of word for that. For example, I used the phrase veritable cornucopia without being 100% sure what it meant, so I doubled checked, only to find that I nailed that sucker. Used it perfectly. Couldn't explain what it meant for my life, but I knew how to say it. Which incidentally is my teaching style for English. I have no idea why things are the way they are. I just know what's right. It's why I am a terrible teacher but a terrific male model. That and my sultry good looks.

- Some French students ask the weirdest questions. There isn't an underlying logic to everything in language, sometimes things just are the way that they are. For example, I was teaching a lesson on daily routine, and I talked about breakfast, and some kid was like breakfast? Caisser rapide? Which means something akin to breaking quickly, and I said no, that's the word for petit dejeuner, and he said why? Now, of course (as I learned later), the word breakfast comes from breaking the fast that is sleeping, but it's very much not worth explaining that to this kid. Sometimes you just have to accept that things are the way that they are.

- Men suck. A lot. And they need to stop hitting on my girlfriend. This is honestly one of the scariest things for me going home, because I've seen some shit when I'm with her, and that's nothing to say of what happens when I'm not around. Last night, apparently some guy started following Sarah home, asked if she was single, and then when told about me said he was going to fight me for her. First of all, I will gladly crush his soul. I've had it up to here with chauvinist men coming after my property. She's my piece of meat, not yours assface. Secondly, what the fuck? Do guys think this shit works? We were out jogging and some guy started cat calling at her. I'm right there! Looking buff! I wanted to key his car. Why would you ever think that is a good idea. Finally, and this is somewhat more expected given the location, we were walking through the red light district, with Matt. In front of the many strip clubs there are people who try to get you to enter the strip clubs. As we passed one, said strip club guy said "Oo lah lah". This one wasn't so bad, because again we were in the red light district, and she was walking with two guys, but still, little irritating. Now, I may have been drunk at the time. Very drunk. The point is, I shouted something at him as I walked past. I don't honestly remember what, but it was something along the lines of wanting to punch him in the face. He then started telling me to go fuck myself. I believe at that point I told him I loved him. The point is, men suck.

- Branching off on that, "Oo lah lah"? Who says that? I have never in my life heard that while living in France before. Other French stereotypes I've never or rarely seen

Tiny mustache, à la Steve Martin in the Pink Panther
Berets (One or two to be sure, but not that many)
Striped shirts (Same as berets)
Accordions (People are more likely to be playing guitar)

French stereotypes I have seen

Baguettes (People love their baguettes here)
Bicycles (Is that a stereotype? They do ride them a lot. Not nearly as much as the Dutch, but a lot)
Cigarettes (God they love to smoke here)
The Eiffel Tower (It exists! Color me surprised!)

- Branching off again from the men suck point, people here are aggressive, especially the sketchy people in the sketchy areas who want stuff from you. For example, one of the first days I was here, I was walking to meet one of my coworkers for my first time (she ended up being one of my favorite people here, and I'm more sad about not seeing her than most of my friends). Again, I walk right through the red light district on my way to see her. Now, the difference is, in the story before, it's after midnight on a Friday. This was Tuesday afternoon. As I walk past one of the many strip clubs, the woman in front says that I should come in, I'd really like the show. No thanks, I say, continuing to walk. She begins to follow me, no no, you'll love it, we have girls in there! Naked girls! No thanks I say, picking up the pace. Long story short, she followed me for a good solid 2 blocks before finally becoming convinced that I wasn't too keen on going to a strip club on a Tuesday afternoon. The worst though are the myriad of characters by the Sacre Coeur. The Sacre Coeur is a gorgeous church that I love which has a nice lawn you can sit on and also happens to be near the apartment, so I spend a good amount of time there. And every time I go, I see a group of guys. They all have pieces of string. What they do is, they find unsuspecting tourists, and tie their string around your finger, for "good luck". Then, once you have been tied up, they ask for money. It's a particularly irritating scam, and one I've never had any interest in. But for some reason, I must look like someone who really wants to have a string tied around his finger. That, or someone who is particularly gullible. They will forcibly grab me when I walk past, because apparently saying no isn't enough. I've had to push them away to get my point across. One day, I'm going to have them tie a string around my finger and then just walk off. I'm.... so bitter.

Alright, that's enough for now. Hopefully this whets your appetite my glorious reading public. I hope everyone is well.